Writing has rarely been a chore for me. I know that describing writing as a companion makes it a bit romantic and poetic. But as of late, writing has been a chain as much as it has been a needed crutch.
I won’t be writing again until mid-January.
I considered remaining silent and just disappearing, then reappearing when I want to, but I would always have a nagging feeling that I didn’t explain where I’ve gone off to.
It’s very loud in my mind these days, and I need to distance myself from things that turn the frustrated murmurs in my thoughts into an even more incoherent crowd of considerations. I’ve learned about staying away from things that induce anxiety, and now I’m learning about when to back away for the sake of personal peace. I haven’t been at peace in a while, and I know there are things that I need to face about myself. Grudges that I need to let go of, areas where pride keeps me from healing, facing up to the corners that I’ve painted myself into…ect, ect…
It’s nearing 1:00AM, and I can’t seem to quiet my mind. I know what I need to do to ‘fix me’, or at least improve my life and stop the frustrating flurries of insufferable chatter in my mind. This is one of those steps.
I miss being able to take the time to comment on everyone’s blogs, especially since most of you have just written spectacular posts (*cough cough* Caleb, Ryoko, Alannah, Mandii, Thoughtsy & Kathryn…*cough*)
I will write one month from now, no doubt with a melodramatic opening line, a rambling mid-post stream of consciousness bit followed by a semisatisfying conclusion. In other words – the usual.
Don’t go taking over the world before I get back in time to read about it! I will be very angry with you if you do!